Flashbacks

Flashbacks are often experienced by people who have been through a traumatic experience/s. They can be a way in which the memory resurfaces. They are also a symptom of not yet having had the chance to process the trauma adequately. As a result, the traumatic event (or a part of it) overwhelms your mind so that it feels like you are re-experiencing it again. It can be an extremely frightening and distressing experience. However, there are things that you can do to help you through your flashbacks. This leaflet contains some ideas that have been compiled by the clients and counsellors at Life Centre.

1. Tell yourself you are having a flashback and that it is okay and very normal in people who were traumatised as children, or as adults. Tell yourself that it will only last a few minutes and then it will end.

2. Remind yourself that the worst is over – it happened in the past, but is not happening now. During a flashback, many people find it very difficult to differentiate between past and present. Do what you can to remind yourself that, although the feelings of the memory are overwhelming you again now, the incident itself is not current. It is in the past. The person inside you who was abused is giving you these memories to use in your healing and, however terrible you feel, you survived the awfulness then, which means you can survive and get through what you are remembering now.

3. Call on the “adult” part of yourself to tell your “child” (the scared part of yourself) that s/he is not alone, not in any danger now, and that you will help him/her get through this. Let your child self know it’s okay to remember and to feel what s/he feels and that this will help your child in healing from what had happened. However hard it is for you, s/he is communicating in the only way s/he can.

4. Try some of the following ways of “grounding” yourself and becoming more aware of the present. You can use these ‘grounding’ techniques if you are aware that a flashback is coming on, or to try and break out of it when it is happening.

Stamp your feet; grind them around on the floor to remind yourself where you are now.
Look around the room, noticing the colours, the people, and the shapes of things.
Listen to the sounds around you: the traffic, voices, the washing machine etc.
Feel your body, the boundary of your skin, your clothes, the chair or floor supporting you.
Have an elastic band to hand (or on your wrist) – you can “ping” it against your wrist and feel it on your skin – that feeling is in the now, the things you are re-experiencing were in the past.
Prepare in advance a safe and comforting place you can conjure up in your imagination to ‘go to’ when flashbacks are threatening.
Focus on anything that will help you remember who you are now, particularly in regards the strength that you have.

5. Take care of your breathing. Breathe deeply down to your diaphragm; put your hand there (just above your tummy button) and breathe so that your hand gets pushed up and down. You can also count to 7 as you breathe in & 11 as you breathe out. When we get scared we breathe too quickly and shallowly and our body begins to panic because we’re not getting enough oxygen. This causes dizziness, shakiness and more panic. Breathing slowly and deeply will stop the panic.

6. If you have lost a sense of where you end and the rest of the world begins, rub your body so you can feel its edges, the boundary of you. Try wrapping yourself in a blanket, feeling it around you.

7. Get support if you would like it. Let people close to you know about your flashbacks so they can help you if you want them to. That might mean holding you, talking to you, helping you to reconnect with the present, to remember you are safe and cared for now.

8. Flashbacks are powerful experiences, which drain your energy. Take time to look after yourself after you have had a flashback. You could have a warm, relaxing bath or a sleep, a warm drink, play some soothing music, or just take some quiet time for yourself. Your “child” and you deserve being taken care of, given all you went through in the past.

9. When you feel ready, write down all you can remember about the flashback and how you got through it. Write down anything you can think of that triggered this flashback starting. This will help you to remember information for your healing and to remind you that you did get through (and can again).

10. Remember you are not crazy – flashbacks are normal and you are healing. It is a stage in your healing that you are going through and it won’t last for ever.

“My flashbacks made me feel that it was the past abuse that was in control – not me. I felt physically sick as I relived events which still carried the heavy weights of fear, guilt and dirtiness. But I want you to know that I am no longer at the mercy of flashbacks – they can and have been broken.”

Lifecentre Client

You might like to try going through the following steps to help you get through a flashback and out the other side:

Say the following sentences, filling in the blanks, following the instructions:

• “Right now I am feeling …………. ,
(name the current emotion, e.g. fear)

• and I am sensing in my body……….. ,
(describe current bodily sensations in detail)

• because I am remembering ……………,
(name the trauma by title only – NO DETAILS)

• and, at the same time, I am looking around where I am now in .................... ,
(say the month & the year)

• here………………..….. ,
(name the place where you are)

• and I can see ………………………..…. ,
(describe some of the things that you see right now, in this place – take time on this one, going into detail on what you can see)

• and so I know ……………….,
(name the trauma again)

• is not happening now/anymore.”