1. Will I need to give my name?
No - that is entirely up to you; the important thing is to give you the support you are looking for. You can give us a made up name if that makes you feel safer or just chat without names.
2. Will you report what I say to the police?
If you are over 18yrs and there are no other children at risk, then the decision to report to the police or not is entirely up to you.
If you are under 18yrs we have a duty of care to do all we can to see you protected, but we can only report if we know who you are or have other facts that identify the abuse you have suffered. So it is your choice whether you give us identifying information about yourself/ your abuser/s or not. The most important thing is that you get the help that you need so you are not carrying the burden of this alone. If you just want to talk without giving us identifying information then that is your choice and we would rather you did that than you suffer this alone.
3. Will you be shocked by what I say? Will you cope with listening?
All our team answering the Lifecentre Helplines have completed a thorough training course, preparing them for whatever you need to talk through. They also have group supervision and personal support so they have somewhere to offload regularly within our team. If it wasn't good for them to be answering our Helpline, they would take time out from the team.
4. Will you think badly of me if I have self harmed?
We understand that sometimes self harming is a way of expressing your anguish when you have lost your connection with words or other outlets. We are here to listen to whatever ways you are able to communicate through.
5. Will you think I am wasting your time and that what happened to me is too trivial? What I have been through is not as bad as other people.
We don't compare one person with another. Every person is unique and has their own journey. If you have any sexual experience that has been unwanted or has upset you, then you have a right to use our Helplines. Nothing is too small or too big. Please don't exaggerate your experience for us, or minimise it for us. There is an ancient saying: "the truth will set you free."
6. What happens if I freeze up and can't speak? What will happen if I cry and can't get the words out?
We can be with you in silences and through tears. If you can't speak on this call, you have still communicated. You can always contact us again another time and speak either on our telephone helpline, or if you find it easier - through text or email.
7. How much will it cost to ring the telephone Helpline?
It will cost £2 for a 40min call from a landline. Mobile phones vary but are more expensive.
8. Will you be able to work out my phone number?
If you phone from a landline we can work out the telephone area you live in, but not the number. From a mobile we can't see your number at all. If you want to make double sure we can't identify your phone, then dial 141 first as this withholds your number.
9. I don't live in Sussex. Is it OK to use this helpline?
Yes. Around 70% of our callers live outside of Sussex. The Lifecentre Helplines are used nationally.
10. Who can call the helpline?
• It is estimated that approximately 1 in 4 women and 1 in 8 men have experienced some kind of unwanted sexual trauma. If this is you, feel free to call us on the helpline.
• You may be deeply affected by an unwanted sexual experience that has happened to someone you are supporting either personally or professionally: your child, another member of the family, a client, a close friend or partner. Call the helpline and talk to someone to help you support them and offload how it is affecting you.
• Telephone lines are open to all male or female survivors and their supporters, regardless of race, colour, nationality or ethnic origin, gender, disability, sexual orientation, educational status or religion.
• We will not knowingly work with perpetrators of sexual violence. If you have sexually abused someone yourself, you should phone 'Stop it Now' instead of Lifecentre. They can be contacted on 0808 1000 900.
• Callers come to us from anywhere in the country. That's OK .
• We won't take calls that are abusive towards our team in any way.
11. What support do the telephone team offer?
• Our helpline team don't usually tell you what to do. They are there to listen to you and understand how you are feeling in all that has happened to you. They will help you think through dilemmas and offload disturbing thoughts and memories.
• You may want to talk about an experience that has recently happened to you and about which you have been in such a state of shock that you haven't yet told anyone about it.
You may want to talk about something that's been going on for a long time but you've been too scared to tell anyone about or now just feels the right time to talk something through even if you have also shared aspects with others. Even things that happened years ago can still be affecting you now.
• Our telephone support team aim to be there for you and support you in whatever you are facing at the moment.
• It's your chance to say whatever you want, to someone who will listen to you and who won't judge you.
• It's amazing how we are sometimes better able to cope with things when we can talk to someone else about them!
• Sometimes, just talking about things can show us what we need to do about them, so we find our own way out.
12. Who are the telephone support team?
• The telephone support team work as volunteers.
• All our telephone support team members have undergone intensive training, devised specifically for this work, enabling them to have expertise in the issues surrounding sexual trauma. It includes observation and assessment of their active listening skills.
• They have an understanding of some of the deep issues people sometimes face when they have been sexually violated.
• All team members attend monthly group supervision, supervised by qualified counsellors, to ensure that they are giving you the best support they possibly can.
•As a service, we belong to a professional organisation called the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists. This gives you confidence that we work to very high standards in caring for the safety of everyone who comes to us and that we will respect the confidentiality of all clients in our service.
• Our telephone helpline team aim to make telephone support a safe place for you to be heard and respected.
13. Can I phone more than once?
Yes, you can call as often as you need to although it's fair to give someone else a chance so recommend you phone again on another evening when the lines are open rather than again on the same night.
14. If I phone a second time, will I get to talk to the same person again?
I'm afraid we can't always promise that you will be able to talk to the same helpline team member again. We work as a team and will support you collectively each time you ring in.
15. Why can I sometimes not get through?
We apologise that sometimes you may not be able to get through if the lines are busy with a lot of people calling. However, other nights our team are less busy, so please do try again later that evening or on another day. We really would love to speak to you and are sorry for any frustration or disappointment this may have caused. Alternatively, you could text or email us if you are able to do that.
16. What is confidentiality?
• Confidentiality means that anything you tell a helpline team member on our helplines will stay strictly within the telephone helpline team, which also includes our qualified supervisors.
• All our telephone helpline team regularly attend a supervision group - which ensures that someone is checking up that each team member is giving you the best support they can. This makes things safe for you to call us.
Exceptions to Confidentiality
There are some very important exceptions to our confidentiality:
• We work within Safeguarding Children Policy. This means that, if you tell us information about a child or vulnerable adult who is being abused, or who is at risk of being abused, we must tell someone about it. As much as is possible, we won't go behind your back to do this. We will always try to have your co-operation in what we do and if we are able to, we will tell you what we need to do about the information you have given us. But, either the Police or Children and Young People's Services (CYPS) will eventually need to be told so that the young person or vulnerable adult can be protected. We appreciate that you may be the vulnerable adult in this situation.This is our priority.
• If you tell us that you are definitely planning serious harm either to yourself or to someone else, we will tell an appropriate person about it urgently, if we have sufficient information about you or where you are. We may need to tell someone about your intentions, even without your permission, and will do so, to protect you or that other person you have told us about.
• The other exceptions to our confidentiality are the legal obligations we have to report to the police anyone who is planning offences under the Terrorism or Data Protection Acts.
Our full Confidentiality Policy is available on the website. You may also like to look up our Vulnerable Adults policy to understand how a 'vulnerable adult' is defined.
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