1. Will I need to give my name?
No - that is entirely up to you; the important thing is to give you the support you are looking for. You can give us a made up name if that makes you feel safer or just chat without names.
2. Will you report what I say to the police?
If you are under 18yrs we have a duty of care to do all we can to see you protected, but we can only report if we know who you are or have other facts that identify the abuse you have suffered. So it is your choice whether you give us identifying information about yourself/ your abuser/s or not. The most important thing is that you get the help that you need so you are not carrying the burden of this alone. If you just want to talk without giving us identifying information then that is your choice and we would rather you did that than you suffer this alone.
3. Will you be shocked by what I say? Will you cope with listening?
All our team answering the Lifecentre Helplines have completed a thorough training course, preparing them for whatever you need to talk through. They also have group supervision and personal support so they have somewhere to offload regularly within our team. If it wasn't good for them to be answering our Helpline, they would take time out from the team.
4. Will you think badly of me if I have self harmed?
We understand that sometimes self harming is a way of expressing your anguish when you have lost your connection with words or other outlets. We are here to listen to whatever ways you are able to communicate through.
5. Will you think I am wasting your time and that what happened to me is too trivial? What I have been through is not as bad as other people.
We don't compare one person with another. Every person is unique and has their own journey. If you have any sexual experience that has been unwanted or has upset you, then you have a right to use our Helplines. Nothing is too small or too big. Please don't exaggerate your experience for us, or minimise it for us. There is an ancient saying: "the truth will set you free."
6. What happens if I freeze up and can't speak? What will happen if I cry and can't get the words out?
We can be with you in silences and through tears. If you can't speak on this call, you have still communicated. You can always contact us again another time and speak either on our telephone helpline, or if you find it easier - through text or email.
7. How much will it cost to ring the telephone Helpline?
Our helpline is an 0808 number which is free for most landlines and mobiles.
8. Will you be able to work out my phone number?
If you phone from a landline we can work out the telephone area you live in, but not the number. From a mobile we can't see your number at all. If you want to make double sure we can't identify your phone, then dial 141 first as this withholds your number.
9. I don't live in Sussex. Is it OK to use this helpline?
Yes. Around 70% of our callers live outside of Sussex. The Lifecentre Helplines are used nationally.
10. Who can call the helpline?
• It is estimated that approximately 1 in 4 girls and about 1 in 8 boys experience some kind of unwanted sexual abuse before the age of 18. If you are one of these, you can call us on the helpline
• Maybe nothing has happened to you, but you are bothered about a sexual trauma that has happened to your friend. Call the helpline and talk to someone.
• If you are being pressured to keep secrets, being told to keep quiet, or being threatened, call us. The helpline is for you.
• If someone seems to be showing excessive interest in you and behaving in a way that scares you, you can talk to us about it.
11. What happens when I call the telephone helpline?
• The helpline team don't usually tell you what to do. They are there to listen to you and understand how you are feeling in what has happened to you.
• You may want to talk about an experience that has recently happened to you but have been in such a state of shock that you haven't yet told anyone about it.
• You may want to talk about something that's been going on for a long time but you've been too scared to tell anyone about.
• Our telephone helpline team aim to be there for you and support you in whatever you are facing at the moment.
• It's your chance to say whatever you want to someone who will listen to you, help you, and who won't judge you.
• It's amazing how we are sometimes better able to cope with things when we can talk to someone else about them!
• Sometimes, just talking about things can show us what we need to do about them, so we find our own way out.
12. Who are the telephone helpline team?
• Our telephone helpline team all work as volunteers on our telephone lines.
• They all have to go through intensive training, which helps them understand some of the problems and issues young people face when they are sexually violated.
• As an organisation, belongs to a professional body called the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy This gives you confidence that we will work to very high standards in caring for the safety of young people who call our helplines, and we will respect the confidentiality of all who call us for telephone counselling.
• Our team won't be fazed by whatever has happened to you. But they will take you very seriously.
•They will aim to make calling the telephone helpline a safe place for you to be heard and respected.
13. Can I phone more than once?
Yes, you can call as often as you need to although to give someone else a chance to call we would recommend you phone again another night when our lines are open if you have already been talking to one of our team for some time rather than phoning back the same evening.
14. If I phone a second time, will I get to talk to the same person again?
I'm sorry, we can't promise that you can always talk to the same person.
We work as a team and will support you collectively each time you ring in.
15. Why Can I Sometimes not get through?
We apologise that sometimes you may not be able to get through if the lines are busy with a lot of people calling. However, other nights our team are less busy, so please do try again later that evening or on another day. We really would love to speak to you and are sorry for any frustration or disappointment this may have caused. Alternately, you could text or email us if you are able to do that.
16. What is confidentiality?
• Confidentiality means that anything you tell a team member on our helplines will stay strictly within the Helpline team, which also includes qualified supervisors.
• All our telephone team members regularly attend a supervision group - which makes sure that someone is checking up that each one of them is giving you the best support they can.
This makes things safe for you to call us
Exceptions to Confidentiality
There are some very important exceptions to our confidentiality:
• Lifecentre works within West Sussex Safeguarding Children Policy. This means that, if you tell us information about a child who is being abused, or who is at risk of being abused (and the child might be yourself), we must tell someone about it. We won't go behind your back to do this. We will always try to have your co-operation in what we do and as much as we can, we will always tell you what we need to do about the information you have given us. But, either the Police or Children and Young People's Services (CYPS) will eventually need to be told so that the young person can be protected. So you know, a child is understood to be someone under the age of 18yrs.
• If you tell us that you are definitely planning serious harm either to yourself or to someone else, we will tell an appropriate person about it urgently if we have enough information about who or where you are. We may need to tell someone about your intentions, even without your permission, and will do so, to protect you or that other person you have told us about. However, as much as is possible, we will talk this through with you.
• The only other exception to our confidentiality is a legal obligation we have to report to the police anyone who is planning offences under the Terrorism or Data Protection Acts.
NB If it seems that you are beginning to tell us information over the phone about a young person who is being abused, the team member will stop you and explain to you before you go on that we may need to tell someone else about this. We will always give you the opportunity to withhold names and details from us if you don't want them known. We want to empower you and help you, not trick you. It's then your choice if you decide to remain anonymous or withhold information.
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